I am generally confident, sure and steady...except for all the times that I'm not. Come on folks. I know I'm not alone on this particular roller coaster. It's all "weeeeeeee!" on the way up and then "oh, crap!" on the way down...and that's all within an hour for someone like me.
After a busy weekend of touring up in Washington, I've enjoyed my kids being home for Spring break. I took them on a day-trip up to Provo for a day of fun because our first choice of going to Disneyland was not going to happen. It was a marvelous day. Clark impressed us all by doing such a good job driving for his first time (CeCe noted that she didn't even feel like she was about to die) and the kids bought needed supplies.
The real highlight of the day for me was visiting with my mother-in-law, Barbara. As the children all played in the indoor pool we got caught up on things. We sat close because the room was loud and we talked about family doings and the foibles of life as the kids splashed. She didn't need to do anything except just be there and be who she is to fill me up with hope and courage to keep fighting a good fight.
She said a true thing that made my heart burn. She said that when we are on the "oh, crap" part life's roller coaster, that it's very important to remember how we felt on top. You know the feeling. Feeling on top is feeling connected to God and His will for you. It's a feeling that is better than raw confidence. It is peace and hope all wrapped in a package of purpose. It is undeniable...but unfortunately it's also easily forgotten when things get rough.
So....how do we handle the "oooo's" and "ahhhh's" of life's ups and downs? We remember the moments of clarity in our lives when we knew that we knew that we knew the direction to take and we hold our course. We remember to remember.